I love this contest
Man Wins Bad Writing Contest
SAN FRANCISCO (June 10) - A retired mechanical designer with a penchant for poor prose took a tired detective novel scene and made it even worse, earning him top honors in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for bad writing.
Jim Guigli of Carmichael submitted 64 entries into the contest. The judges were most impressed, or revolted perhaps, by his passage about a comely woman who walks into a detective's office.
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean," Guigli wrote.
"The judges were impressed by his appalling powers of invention," said Scott Rice, a professor in SJSU's Department of English and Comparative Literature. He has organized the bad writing contest since its inception in 1982.
Guigli will receive "a pittance" for his winning entry, a bit of cash he said he may put toward the purchase of a motor boat.
SAN FRANCISCO (June 10) - A retired mechanical designer with a penchant for poor prose took a tired detective novel scene and made it even worse, earning him top honors in San Jose State University's annual Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest for bad writing.
Jim Guigli of Carmichael submitted 64 entries into the contest. The judges were most impressed, or revolted perhaps, by his passage about a comely woman who walks into a detective's office.
"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean," Guigli wrote.
"The judges were impressed by his appalling powers of invention," said Scott Rice, a professor in SJSU's Department of English and Comparative Literature. He has organized the bad writing contest since its inception in 1982.
Guigli will receive "a pittance" for his winning entry, a bit of cash he said he may put toward the purchase of a motor boat.
posted by gbj at 11:40 AM
3 Comments:
"It was a dark and stormy night."
I love this contest, too, and one of my favorite bathroom readers was one of the compilations of past winners and runners-up. Too funny!
Have you ever considered submitting an entry?
It would be fun to enter it. Maybe I'll do that next time. I have one of the previous winners from years ago committed to memory. It was a jungle/Tarzan kind of story, and the hero comes upon a woman about to be burned at the stake by natives.
His classic line-
"Flick your bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my steal through your last meal."
For some reason, I have never forgotten that.
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
lyttony.htm
My favorite is the first one listed; yours comes next (chronological order).
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